A Note on the Culture

Marriage is not an easy risk to take these days.

More than 50% end in divorce. The culture, which supported marriages economically and spiritually, sends mixed messages about the value of life long commitments.

At St. Bartholomew’s we welcome some of the changes. We’re glad that people can leave abusive relationships. We’re glad when second marriages are successful. We firmly believe marriage as “holy.” And this belief guides and sustains us during when the commitment doesn’t seem worth the challenges.

A Supportive Church

At St. Bartholomew’s we want to support all couples in their marriage; those recently engaged; those wedded one year; and those who’ve been wed much longer. We believe that couples can help each other witnessing to each other and exemplifying the best of the shared life.

The Priest seeks to help couples by listening closely to the psychic and spiritual yearnings within the urge to make this leap. Occasionally the priest will make recommendations for the couple to see outside counselors.

What we require

Religion

One of the couple must be a baptized Christian. You must be willing to consider the Episcopal Church your home. For a Holy Eucharist, both should be baptized Christians.

Church Commitment

We believe that marriage thrives in a community. We hope that St. Barts can be that community. We also understand that weddings in a church can be very profound experiences – and having time to be familiar with a church can deepen the joy of the wedding itself. Weddings are also, in the history of the church, public events (it’s the reception that is private) for the entire community.

Please expect to join us for the Holy Eucharist at for at least six (6) months preceding the wedding.

If the couple lives outside a 20 mile radius of St. Bartholomew’s, they may attend another church.

Setting a Date

It’s always helpful for the clergy if you contact him before setting a date. This makes it easy for the priest to set his calendar and make sure the church is available.

Pre-marital Counseling

The priest offers 5 sessions of conversation about marriage. These may be (depending on the number of people expecting to get married in the church) group sessions with other couples. You may be expected to meet another married couple in the parish to discuss issues regarding marriage. If you are seeking counseling for a ceremony in another church, the appropriate fee for the cleric is $50 /session.

Additional ceremonies

Betrothal Ceremony

You may also celebrate your engagement here at St. Barts with a prayer during the Eucharist. In ancient times, a betrothal ceremony recognized a “testing time” before a marriage. This blessing is intended for those who seek the church’s recognition that the relationship before the wedding is serious.

One Year Anniversary

After one year, the church offers the opportunity of blessing the couple during the Sunday Service.

Other Forms of Ceremonies

Some forms of intimacy and life-long commitment are not recognized by the state. The Church acts for the state when conducting weddings. It is thus impossible for the church to act in its traditional role in such cases.

But any community of faithful people can gather and bless two people deeply in love. St. Bartholomew’s may permit such blessings in the church if the two people are known, committed, faithful and pledging members of the community, upon the discretion of the priest-in-charge.

The Ceremony

The priest will celebrate the ceremony. In special circumstances, he may invite other clergy upon the recommendation of the wedding party.

Sometimes couples hire wedding planners to assist with the ceremony and festivities. The priest has liturgical authority during the service. The wedding planner assists the priest (he is NOT an accessory).

Photographers should be non-intrusive. They may be in pre-arranged, selected spots to take photographs. They cannot be on the altar, nor block the line of sight for those attending the wedding.

Ceremonials (unity candle, a broom) may be added at the discretion of the priest.

Fees

The general fee should be considered a tithe of the entire cost of the wedding. This means if you spend $10,000 then $1,000 is an appropriate offering to the church, including the gift to the priest, the organist, sexton, and church building fee.

The priest is paid no less than the wedding coordinator.

Fee Break Down for Pledging Members

For Non-Pledging